Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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