I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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