i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Come see our sink grown plant.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize