Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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