Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
