From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
