I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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