ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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