shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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