Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
