My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
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