I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
