no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
