called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
