textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
