Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
