i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
