Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
