the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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