she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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