and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
