doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Randomize
