and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
