so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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