Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
