I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
