I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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