If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
