Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
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