I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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