I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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