whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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