(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
