Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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