haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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