Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
