Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize