Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
