It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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