My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
