you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize