Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
