So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
