I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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