Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
