how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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