Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
