shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
