You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
