love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
