I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize