4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
