I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
wow bdsm is so cute
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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