I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
