just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Randomize
