I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
