i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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