The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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