My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Holy shit dude........stairs
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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