I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Houston, we have a squirter
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
