You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
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