Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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