Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
