OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
